New life in Jesus

I converted to Christianity in November 2003, during my final year at university. I was raised a devout Muslim and had come to the UK from Pakistan for my studies, with the intent to return. I was serious about my faith – fasting during Ramadan, praying 5 times a day, reading my Quran with translation, asking questions and having discussions with my father, who wanted us to believe because we wanted to, not because we had to. It was in my final year that I met a Christian who knew God. She had a relationship with God and said that I could have one too. I had longed for a real relationship with God. All my artwork (I was studying Fine Art at University) was about making a way to God through Islamic calligraphy and numerology. I became curious about Jesus and the Bible.

In fact, I came across a verse in the Quran that said the Torah, Psalms, and Gospels were revealed by God. This made me think that I needed to find out about what the Bible says. “Taste and see that the Lord is good,” my friend said, as she quoted Psalm 34:8. I began to fast and pray and build a hybrid of Islam and Christianity that suited me, but I had no peace, my mind was tormented and I was increasingly confused. One morning my friend gave me some scriptures and simply said that I must pray for the truth before I read them. I did just that and realised how I was making my own way to God. I did not know Him and I had some serious issues in my heart that I could not resolve by myself. I prayed to accept Jesus that day and it changed everything. More than anything I was able to have a real relationship with God that was not built on ceremony or routine performance. I had an overwhelming sense that God loved and cared for me and most of all that He was real and reachable. I had never known this before.

Over the next eight months I visited several churches but did not settle anywhere until the summer of 2004, when I came to the Potters House Church South London, where I was welcomed with open arms. 

I had been staying with family friends and attending church in secret. My mother had come to attend my graduation and take me back to Pakistan. I was faced with the decision to return to Pakistan or stay in the UK. Going back would mean that I would have no guarantee of practising my Christianity. I had only heard stories of Christians being persecuted in Pakistan and those that I had met had worked hard to get out, not go back. But I had nowhere to stay in London and my family was still unaware of my conversion. It turned out to be a very tumultuous time for me. My family did not take the news of my conversion very well. My father was happy to maintain communications with me (and even visited from Pakistan), but the rest of the family stopped speaking to me. 

At the Potters House, my Pastor was able to help me find accommodation with one of the congregation members as a lodger. During the next year, I lived there until I was able to find work and begin renting a room for myself. I was able to build friendships, be involved in various Church programmes and attend the regular church services. This community, its support and strength, kept me from being isolated or giving into stress and anxiety regarding my relationship with my family and navigating ‘life after graduation’. 

In the ensuing years I completed my teacher training for secondary school aged children. I got married to my wonderful husband (from a completely different cultural background), without it being an arranged marriage (which was otherwise my destiny) and we now have 2 children. Over time, my relationship with my family has also been restored. My children know and love their grandparents and my siblings. I can honestly say, it has been the prayers and the support of my church and most of all the grace of God, that has carried me through this and has helped the relationship with my family to be at the stage it is at now. And no matter how difficult some of the periods in my life have been, in hindsight, it could not have worked out better. Knowing Jesus is something I would not trade for anything.