From grief to salvation

I am the youngest of 4 boys. Living with my parents and siblings, in a 2-bed council flat in Peckham, South-East London, was very eventful to say the least. I enjoyed a large part of my childhood, but I also saw many traumatic things which led to my two eldest brothers being removed from our home; leaving my parents, my brother and I. My brother David was just two years older than me; we quickly became best friends. As a family we then moved to a home just 5 minutes from Borough station and became a big part of our community. We would be playing football, attending local events, and helping out wherever possible.

In 2008, my brother (who was only 16) was stabbed 2 minutes from our home and died 3 weeks later from that wound.  The knife had gone a few inches through his heart. I was 14 years old at the time and it left me distraught, lonely, and depressed. I wanted revenge and struggled to mourn in a healthy way. I ended up harbouring intense unforgiveness towards the people involved in the murder of my brother and it was tormenting me. I would be dreaming about getting vengeance and would take my anger out on my parents. 

I began to isolate myself from everyone, playing console games to escape from reality. I failed all of my GCSE exams.

Three years after my brother’s death, I was still experiencing the same emotions, the same hate, the same grief, the same sadness. At this point, one of my older brothers had returned and was inviting me to the Potters House South London to watch a play. I ended up going and my life has never been the same since. I gave my life to Jesus Christ and all the resentment, desire for revenge, depression, anger, loneliness, and pain was purged by Jesus Christ and it felt like all the weight of the struggles of my life were removed. 

The changes caused by this decision caused an effect on my exam results and the direction of my whole entire life. My relationship with God has blessed me tremendously. I now have a beautiful wife, the relationship I have with my family has deepened and the love and concern I have for people who have gone through or are going through the things I went through has grown. Being a part of the church has given me a new family who have helped me get through many trials and issues and I am grateful for that.